I haven't run an errand by myself in a while. The surgery laid me up and prevented driving until recently. On top of varying levels of mobility Riley has been my shadow lately. I had intended to bring her with me to Target to pick up a few things after her nap. It turned out Mike had an urgent request with 30mins left until Riley's nap. I thought I'd still bring her for a quick drip, but she had a fit that included throwing a bowl of food. So, I left by myself.
It was strange. I remember similar feelings of freedom the first few times I went somewhere without her when she was a baby. I alternated between extreme pride at my independence and mobility and the feeling I'd forgotten an appendage. I walked into the store on my crutches, but I was tired from the party so I hopped on an electric cart. I zipped around gathering my items. It was strange not to have to entertain a toddler. My thoughts seemed louder.
I even ran into a mommy friend and had an uninterrupted conversation, whoa. Once my errand was complete I came home to a quiet house and worked on crafts projects until nap time ended. It was nice. I was happy to see madam cranky pants when she woke up. It's nice to have options again.
It's nice to run around by myself and equally nice to come home to the kids. I don't mind being home most of the time and I enjoy spending lots of time with kids. What I don't like is have no choices. Stir crazy doesn't really cover it. Little by little I'm getting out and about again, doing more around the house and feeling like myself again.