Mars/Venus Priorities

My priorities in order of importance: Unpack all remaining boxes (there aren't very many left), finish painting touch ups in Isaac's room, get Isaac's furniture into a more functional formation, laundry (where did it all come from?!?), start painting the baby's room, organize kitchen cabinets (now that I have everything), cleaning, organize my own closets and drawers, hook up blue ray in the bedroom (the living room one has been hooked up since day 1), organize my desk/craft stuff, make invites to house warming play date, etc etc (I could write this list for days).

Mike's Priorities: Set up shed (aka man cave), set up living room tv, blueray, stereo, etc (including programming remotes), mount speakers and camouflage wires, landscape backyard, build swing set

I would like to point out that nothing on my list is finished and his list is complete. This is simply because he gives himself less general tasks than for example unpack all boxes. Also because he doesn't mind if one item takes him all day (and doesn't have a toddler under foot). The other reason is I can only tell you what his priorities are after he's started a project because I can't even begin to guess what he'll decide is important.

It should also be noted that his priorities make him a hero. Although I get everyone up on time, fed, bathed, etc I am never a hero. My goals are too mundane, I suppose. I do what has to be done because it has to be done and he does what he wants to do next because I will always make sure what has to be done is.

I'm really grateful, today. The kids needed a swing set. They're so happy. Check with me again tomorrow...

The Enigma That Is The Toddler

So, Riley woke up from her nap and proceeded to FINALLY pee. She sat right on froggy potty and peed. Amazing work little one. The doctor's office bumped her up to 2:30. I take back what I said about them before. Nice folks. Anyway, after she peed on the potty she asked for food for the first time all day. Hmmm...

Her temperament improved, eating and peeing again she seemed like a different girl from this morning. Maybe we really were wrong about the UTI theory. She never had a fever, but with her history of horrific infections that require antibiotics in the diaper area I was still worried.

Both cars were half unpacked so my wheelchair didn't fit. I opted for crutches and backpack. We pulled into the parking lot 4min late, grumble. I unbuckled Riley, who still had nap hair sticking straight up, from the car seat and strapped on backpack. I decided on one crutch so I could hold her head as well as the backpack lead if need be. I'm glad because we took two steps away from the car when she tripped into the next parking space. Of course this was the very moment the lady from the front office came out to "check on us." "Why, hello. Yes, that's my toddler sitting in the oil spot. I'm a much better mother normally."

She gained 2lbs since last time we were there despite not eating all day. It was the first time she stepped up on the big kid scale. She bopped around with her backpack on happily reading books and moving marbles through the maze. She was timid around the doctor, but friendly. He listened carefully to everything I said and then winced as he examined Riley's diaper area. He told me it was a really bad rash and to keep doing what I was doing and watch for fever.

I told him I was sure it was UTI this morning and at the very least another skin infection later on. He said he thought it was too from what I described, but after all we agreed toddlers are tricky.

The Return of Mommy Guilt

Riley woke up from her nap yesterday with a rash. I felt terrible. I didn't change her diaper before she fell asleep. I always do, but I didn't this time. I know she has sensitive skin and is healing from a yeast infection so when I discover an impressive load and an equally impressive rash I am not surprised.

I'm a horrible mother who didn't change the diaper and now my baby is swollen and sore. I cleaned her up, gave her some "air time", and than slathered on the diaper cream like cream cheese on a fat lady's bagel. I am calming myself from the thorough thrashing I have given myself. When Riley informs me she "pooooooped!" again. I repeat the same procedure except I leave the diaper off this time because the swelling is much worse. Chalk that one up to toddler timing. She'll be ok. Won't she? We're not starting the infection cycle of death again, are we?

Convinced I'm overreacting I diaper up the baby and make a quick dash to Borders for Tina Fey's book Bossypants. Actually, I got the unabridged audio book read by Tina Fey, so exciting. I know, priorities. Give me a break, we also picked up dinner. When we got home Riley quite literally could not walk. Her best approximation was a slow, tearful, waddle. Poor girl. I striped her down, but she refused to sit in the highchair. She squatted instead and eventually demanded to be let out. She roamed the living room with her bare butt and her chicken nugget.

We decided she should sleep sans diaper. At 3am she woke up screaming. Mike and I rushed to her bed and she had peed. She was beat red and screaming and twisting her little body away from the puddle. Mike pulled the damp linens off the bed while I attempted to clean her up, but she was hysterical. We finally put her under the warm shower water. She calmed down after that and we debated going to the ER or waiting for the doctors office to open in the morning. Mike and I were both freaked out.

At 5am when Riley decides I've slept enough I check her diaper it's bone dry. I call the pediatrician at 8am and I get a real human. I love Riley's doctor. I'm informed the nurse will call me when she gets in. At 8:30 the nurse calls. Apparently, if Riley has a UTI we have to go to the ER because she's not potty trained and would need to be catheterized.

Awesome. So your bits are horribly swollen and you're terrified to pee? Let's jam a tube in there. I take it back I hate Riley's doctor (I don't mean that). She tells me I can go to the costly ER or wait until 5pm and go to pediatric after hours urgent care clinic which would be cheaper. She was trying to help, but now I was panicked. We just moved, we have no money. My baby is hurt. Wait 8 hours? I'm a horrible mother. I should have taken her to the ER last night.

I give all this lovely information to Mike who vents all of his stress directly at me. I should have worn a helmet. Once I choked back my sobs we discussed Riley's diaper rash/infection history and every option besides being catheterized in the ER. I called the doctor again with a fresh list of questions at 9am. I was running on coffee, a few hours sleep, no food and horrible anxiety because Riley still hadn't peed. It was 11 before I got a return call. In the end the nurse gave us a 3:00 appointment and warned we'd probably have to go to the ER anyway, but "it's your money."

Meanwhile, it's noon and Riley hasn't peed, but her temperament has vastly improved. I am completely confused. Uti? Skin infection? I do know that I'm a horrible mother for causing/not preventing/not doing enough about whatever the heck this is. I couldn't protect my baby, I didn't react correctly or fast enough and now I deserve the suffering that watching my little girl suffer is causing me (as well as the sleep deprivation, financial strain of Er visits and prescriptions). That is mommy guilt at its finest.

I know we'll get through this day. Riley will survive whatever attacks on her 19mo immune system are causing one of the worst days of my life. Someday diapers will be behind us. Some wonderful day, but mommy guilt I'm afraid, is here to stay.

Tina Fey's Prayer for a Daughter

"First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.

May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty.

When the Crystal Meth is offered, May she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer.

Guide her, protect her
When crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.

Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes And not have to wear high heels.

What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.

May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.

Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen. Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short – a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day – And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait.

O Lord, break the Internet forever, That she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.

And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.

And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back.

“My mother did this for me once,” she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.

Amen."

Bossypants by: Tina Fey

Stop Googling Yourself

After reading a comment on the post about Riley playing in my wheelchair I started Googling "wheelchair toys". Fun stuff and good articles abounded. While wading through them I remembered that I had written about Share a Smile Becky (I think they should have named her Barbie on wheels).

Turns out after Googling myself and pulling up my old blog that I had posted a link to another blog post on Barbie's differently abled friend.

Enjoy! It still made me laugh until I cried.

Jul 29, 2008
Wheelchair Barbie
Current mood:amused

This is hilarious!!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/ouch/2007/07/share_a_smile.html

Well put, sir.

Comments

Mirriah: LOL. I TOTALLY miss your hilarity...is that a word? 3 years ago

Michael: You know, when I wrote the blurbs on the back of the package, they cut out a lot. They thought my ideas were too bold and exciting for little girls. I think my idea that she could actually wheel her way through time in her interstellar beckyship was brilliant. The aliens from planet metaltron wanted to take her prisoner, but their phase beams were deflected by the holographic shields on each side. Unfortunately, at the end it turns out Becky is a double agent working for the aliens and that's why Barbie had to have her assasinated. Of course, it had to be treated carefully so that the aliens wouldn't see it as an act of interstellar war. So that part was written only on the inside of the padding on the seat. 3 years ago

Emily: Awesome. Totally made me laugh.· 3 years ago

♐ Apt To Wander ♐ Hey, I had a "Share A Smile Becky" doll! I thought her holographic rims were awesome and I made her share her chair with my other dolls 3 years ago

The Gravity Test

Today, I was still tired. So, tired that I put on a pair of Riley's socks by mistake and wore them ALL day. By the way, as it turns out you can only wear baby socks for 8hrs before your feet go numb from loss of circulation. You laugh, but I happen to have a similar pair of ankle socks. At least I'm making progress on the putting on my own shoes and socks front. I really lost hope for a while.

It'll be one year since my spinal fusion surgery in a few weeks. That marks the halfway point to a full recovery from that procedure. My fingers froze for a moment over the keys after I wrote that. Halfway? Can that be right? Must be.

This is going to sound ridiculous, but I can tell things are getting better because I'm falling a lot more. I'm being completely serious. It means first of all that I'm on my feet more. You have to get up to fall down. It also means I'm taking more risks balance-wise. Thinking about things a little less. Becoming more comfortable in my own skin.

After my surgery moving around in my altered body was a little driving a rental car with the emergency brake on for several miles. I have gone through the surgery and recovery process many times in my life, but never as an adult with a baby at home. I really had no idea what to expect from myself after such a major operation. I was very worried the pain would decrease, but I'd never get my mobility back.

Maybe it's the new house, but I feel more positive about things now. As my mom pointed out, more like the "old Katie". I don't feel like anything has changed, but everything feels different. Maybe, my psyche is leading the healing process now. I even made dinner for the first time in a long time. I made baked ziti in my new kitchen. It was amazing probably more than usual because I made it. Now if I can do that more than once a month that would be something. Baby steps.

More moving, more falling, more healing!

Wheelchair Accessibility in the Home

Today I was tired. Bone tired. I decided (grumble, grumble) to use my wheelchair in the house. In the old house this was a miserable endeavor. The rooms were carpeted, crammed with furniture, doorways were small, etc. It's why I wanted to move before my surgery. Everything's different here.

The floors are tile, the rooms are open, and the furniture fits properly. The very best part though is the back bathroom. I can fit through the doorway! Amazing. I wheeled right up to the toilet and sink. Further proof that we're where we're supposed to be.

I simply went about my day in my wheelchair inside the house. It was liberating to know I truly have that choice. I started thinking about inviting my paraplegic mommy friend over for a play date. It wasn't option in the old house. For those of you who remember that post she's the one from the "we have wheels instead of feet" trick or treating incident. I have an accessible house and didn't even know it.

I took a nap when Riley slept and when I got up I had ants in my pants. I took Isaac on his bike and Riley on my lap to the bike trail. It was really nice. Shady and busy with bikers, but no cars to avoid. We took the trial all the way to Boo's neighborhood and then stopped in to play. It was a relief not to think about moving for the day.

We got a ride home later to our wonderful new home.

Easter Event Excites Egg Extracters!

Well, it came. I sent invitations out a month ago. I spent weeks moving, painting and cleaning. I spent last night filling hundreds of plastic eggs. The Easter Bunny came last night and left baskets of goodies for the kids to find.

Riley found carrot in the hallway and happily munched it while daddy I goaded her to open the linen closet. She had just started opening the door when her brother caught sight of Riley's Easter basket and screamed. She jumped back a foot and stood dazed. Once she was sure there wasn't a monster in the closet she tried it again. There it was!

Isaac was so excited by his sister's discovery he opened every door in the hallway, but no luck. Soon he discovered a trail of carrots from the the kitchen counter. Darn that messy bunny! He followed it to the back bathroom where his basket was in the shower.

Soon the house was filling with people and Mike's Easter Egg Pancakes were underway. They were shaped and colored like Easter eggs and each color had a different flavor (cinnamon, almond, vanilla, etc). We also had fruit salad, potatoes, Canadian bacon and Godiva coffee. When everyone had eaten their fill it was time for the main event.

It couldn't have gone better if I'd have dreamed it. The kids found lots of eggs. The Bunny hid the ones we died and left the plastic ones to Mike and I. We asked the big kids to find the real eggs and leave the plastic ones for the babies. We also gave the babies a head start.

I was happy to sit on the patio and watch all the fun unfold. We had kids from 4mo-8yrs old and lots of friends and family in our backyard. It was wonderful to be able to host this many people (unthinkable in the old house.)

I felt all week like I needed to do more for this party. I skipped Easter themed plates and napkins altogether. I had gone out of my way in the past and felt like no one noticed and besides the pancakes were prettier than any plate would have been. I used a few yards of pretty, spring themed fabric for a table cloth so I can wash it and make something for Riley's new room with it. I reused every plastic egg we had from last year, all the eggs from the church hunt and raided dollar bins for more. In the end there was plenty of food, plenty of eggs and everyone had a blast. We also had a three or four cameras going the whole time. I think that should be the ratio at all my events from now on.

Riley's nod (off) of approval

It was an believable success. It made us feel so loved. All houses should be broken in my many happy, noisy children. When it was over my antisocial partner turned to me and said "when's the next holiday!". Amazing party. As far as Easters go my basket floweth over.

Kid Friendly, Not So Wheelchair Friendly

I took the kids to an Easter egg hunt at a church near our new house today, Boo's church. When I was growing up I went to a church up the road from my house with a few hundred members. Every year on Easter they put lattice in front of a wooden cross and everyone brought a flower to add to it. It was beautiful by the end of the service. After Sunday school all the kids, maybe 15 of us, would go out to a little grassy courtyard and find eggs.

When I say this event was on a larger scale I'm talking doozer to gorg folks. This church has multiple buildings, I think I counted four. There had to be a thousand people there at least. They had multiple egg hunt locations divided by age. They also had pony rides and bounce houses! It was not the chruch Easter egg hunt I grew up with.

We weren't anticipating the size of the event so we were a few minutes late and the under 4 egg hunt area had been picked clean. I couldn't go in in my wheelchair because in was a playground with sand and there were tons of toddlers. So, Isaac held Boo's hand and Riley went with Boo's mommy. Watching from the sideline through gaps in the crowd became the theme of the day.

Other kids kindly shared their eggs with the girls. Soon Riley was very pleased to have two eggs carry in her pink felt bunny basket. I laughed that the girls thought Easter was the the holiday when people hand you eggs. Riley was in my lap most of the day examining her empty plastic eggs. Between moving all week and the uneven, crowded, outdoor terrain I was really glad there were two other adults with us.

We didn't ride the ponies. Riley and I waited in line while everyone else went to get food, but she was acting skittish. Beyond that I don't think I could have put her up there by myself. Of course the people in line with us were exceedingly sweet so I'm sure someone would have lent a hand. After lunch we did go back and pet the ponies. Riley seemed to really enjoy that and my guess is she was thinking "how do you hug a doggie this big?"

The other thrill beyond thrills was the bounce houses. I hated those when I was a kid. I really wanted to like them. I'd get in there and "jump" a little, but ultimately I'd fall and the other kids would jump on me because I wouldn't be able to get up and my mom would have to come in after me. Anyway, the committee who planned this event knew their stuff. They had an over 5 bounce house and an under 5 one too. I let Isaac go to the big kid bounce house once I was satisfied his lunch was digested enough to avoid incident. He tore off his shoes in a frenzy and gleefully bounced for 3min and then his group came out and gave the other kids a turn and so on. Very impressive bounce house regulating. Boo's mom and aunt took the girls to the little bounce house. Riley was beyond thrilled. My guess there is that she thought "a bed I'm allowed to bounce on? Amazing!".

It was a great day, but I felt pretty ineffective as a parent. I thought more than once that the kids would have had the same experience without me there. Maybe it was my burning desire for a nap talking, but all I did was follow the kids around and watch for the most part. Everyone was very nice, the kids had a blast and I even bumped into an old friend. As far as events go it was impressive. As far as maybe going to a closer church to the new house goes I like my smaller church with one building and a few hundred people better.

Change of Address Card

It's a lot less empty these days. In fact there's a dining room table there now. Although, the old house isn't completely empty yet and not all the boxes are unpacked we're making progress. I keep telling myself that's it's only been a week. It has only been a week, but in less than 48 hours we're having company for Easter. I tell myself the people who love me won't care if my house isn't immaculate or that the painting isn't finished. I calm myself with the thought and then I walk into my bedroom, Oy!

Six of the seven rooms are either done or "pretty close" Tonight we're having friends over to dye eggs. I have my priorities in order and a semi-realistic grip on my deteriorating physical state. The weekend is here. Easter will be here before we know it. I think we all need this event. It's a ceremony to mark a new begining for us. It's a chance to test drive what future events will be like in this house and how our friends feel about our new place. Above all it means we did it. We survived, we worked together and we'll get through the end of this intact.

Riley's Mommy Walks Funny

I remember doing research for a play I was in and being struck by descriptions of children playing in the concentration camps. It seemed so strange for children to play in such surroundings, but more than that it was what they played that struck me. They played concentration camp, dividing up into Nazi soldiers and prisoners. Like kids used to divide up into cops and robbers.

I guess when I think about it, I played teacher and doctor most often as a kid because that's who I was around most. When you're a kid your world is small and that's ok. You don't compare yourself to the world at large when you're a kid. Normal has no meaning. You are who you are.

Take Riley, her Mommy carried her in a carrier on her chest for almost 9mo because of her balance issues. When Riley started crawling her Mommy put the Superyard around the couch so she could play and Mommy could escape gate-style (can't do step over). Riley liked to pull herself to standing on Mommy's walker, if she wasn't using it as a tent or pushing it across the floor.

In more recent times Riley takes any long straight object, especially Mommy's grabber, and walks with it as if it's a cane. Odd for another baby, maybe, but that's what Riley sees. Riley's been pushed in strollers and pulled in wagons like the other babies. She's walked holding Mommy's hand.

Sometimes she walks wearing her backpack so Mommy can keep a hold of her (and keep up with her).

It's because Riley's Mommy walks funny. Sometimes Riley's Mommy puts her on her lap in the wheelchair when they go places.

So it's no surprise that today Riley climbed into Mommy's wheelchair with her baby doll and tried to wheel around with the baby in her lap.

"Ok, baby here we go."

It turns out wheeling around while hanging on to a baby is pretty tricky (no surprise to Riley's Mommy). She tried wheeling one handed and ended up spinning in a circle like a broken bumper car. Then she sat the baby next to her and tried to get her to lend a hand. She put the baby's hand on the wheel and tried to show her what to do. It was really funny. I guess all mommies adapt. Too bad her baby didn't pick up the slack.

My Changing Relationship With Home Depot

When I was a kid I HATED being dragged through Home Depot. It was huge and tiring to walk. There were nasty chemical smells, which I've always been super-sensitive to. There was never anything for kids there so I couldn't get a reward for being good during the shopping trip. On top of all that my mom was walking through anxious about the things that would dangerous to kids, not exactly the energy that makes a kid enthusiastic. My dad was always the instigator of these jaunts, but he never had unbridled enthusiasm for anything really, DIY projects around the house included.

As an adult I lived in quite a few dorm rooms and apartments where I wasn't permitted to change anything. Mike's house where I moved after the string of apartments was painted all one color. The whole house was powder blue walls and dark blue trim, the whole house. Since I knew that was temporary I never felt compelled to change things very much. I even outright resented the time, energy and money poured into that stupid little rental.

My pregnancy changed all that. I had a nursery to plan. Now like that kid you always hated who grew up to be kind of a hottie I re-introduced myself to Home Depot. It was a tentative first date. I only needed painted, but it was the first time going there had ever been fun.

When we moved suddenly I had a whole house to make my own and I felt like, "Home Depot where have you been all my life?" I started with paint, four rooms worth of walls and baseboards to choose. Then we needed a drain plug for the bathtub that was toddler proof, blinds for our front window and plants for the backyard.

Every trip there now is exciting. The possibilities are endless. There's all the immediate stuff and then there's the "someday list". I "pick out" $100 wood blinds for the master bedroom, Martha Stewart window treatments for the front window, a $200 grill for Michael to use on the back patio, a beautiful top-of-the line dishwasher, a chandelier for over the dinning room table and a new ceiling fan for the bedroom. It's a big list but "someday" is a long time away.

I know my way around Home Depot as well as I know my way around the grocery store (not quite as well as Target). I go there with confidence and direction. I no longer feel like everyone's staring at me because I don't belong. I park and mount an electric cart and zip around choosing things for my house. We've come a long way, Home Depot and I.

We still fight now and then when aisles are blocked by layers of displays and I can't get through or when things are too high for me to reach. We usually make up in the end though. I always laugh when things in the store sport "out of order" signs... come on guys, don't you have the tools to fix it? When the staff is around (they're elusive) they're always very friendly.

I guess I'm a real grown up now because I'd rather buy things for the house than myself.

Which Box Did I Pack My Brain In?

Moving is a lot like being pregnant, at least for me. I never had swollen ankles pregnant, however and I've had them every day since we started moving. Other than that the similarities are endless. I'm tired, starving and grouchy all the time. I'm having weird dreams. I'm disheveled and self-conscious all the time. My memory's shot.

The other day I had my first contact with the legendary P next door. It was the morning after the first night we spent in the house on air mattresses/pack-n-play/sleeping bags. I was painting Isaac's room I had the window open and P climbed up on his fence and shouted to me "young lady your back lights have been since last night." Whoops. I'm batting a thousand on the first impressions with the neighbors front.

I also got a few things from the kitchen at the old house so I could make dinner early. I chose frozen ravioli because I had tomato sauce and all I had to do was boil them. It turns out I had neither a pot to boil water nor did I have the freaking sauce. Come on! I hand my hands on both things before I left the old house and managed to leave them. Grrr.

I continue to hit the wrong switches to turn on lights and fans. I made sure diapers and tampons came over I'm not completely in competent. I however manage to leave ALL the garbage cans until the end. Duh, maybe we need more than one. Also, double duh you can pack in them! I felt so dumb when I finally started loading things into the garbage cans and bring them over. They get unpacked a lot faster than boxes because they need to be used.

I had my Easter decorations up before we moved in, but until today I only had two days of my own clothes at the new house. Everyone else had their whole wardrobe by yesterday. It's a good thig we've had the washer and dryer have been hooked up the whole time.

Also, like pregnancy moving is hard work. You almost always want to quit before it's done in both cases. No amount of preparation makes the end any easier. In the end though even though you're glad it's over it was totally worth it.

This Is the Thing

I altered the "disabled child area" sign to make a point. I expect way too much of myself. I hate asking for help. I want to do it all myself, but I can't. Give me a break society's expectations of mothers, Martha Stewart, perceived judgments of strangers, and most of all my own ridiculous standards. I didn't get this way by myself. I taught the people around me not to offer help until I ask for it and myself to be ashamed to ask.

I'm working on giving myself a break here. Feel free to offer assistance or moral support. Life is super hard right now.

You Find Out Who Your Friends Are

This morning my coffee delivery came with a cat and a bird. We brought everything we needed for breakfast except spoons. It was almost calm considering it was "the big day". I had a handful of responses to my pleads for help yesterday, but only one yes. I was still very anxious, but Mike seemed collected.

I tried following his lead. We painted in the morning and I let people know when we expected to rent the truck. My mom was supposed to come get the kids at noon and it was clear Mike and I had more work than we could handle. I sent out another round of pleading texts and heard another round of polite nos. Of course now it was super last minute so I had expected as much.

The afternoon wore on and no sign of grandma. I got the Riley down for her nap and sent Isaac to play quietly in his new room. I was sweating bullets when I heard from my mom who was in stand still traffic on the bridge. I pressed on with painting and unpacking trying to keep my panic at bay. What a day it was turning out to be.

My mom picked up the kids around 2:30 and help arrived soon after. Boo's mom and I painted Isaac's room and than she left to get her husband who she'd enlisted to help load furniture in the truck. While she was gone our friend C around and helped me by painting the "up high" parts of Isaac's walls.

Boo's mom arrived with Boo and her Mike and soon the 3guys were off to U-haul. While they were gone the kids came back from the beach with grandma. The kids played while we moved boxes against the walls, swet and otherwise got the rooms ready for furniture. Once we were done and grandma had departed it was hours of trying to keep things that way while we waited. Not an easy task with two toodlers and an 8yr old on the loose.

I tried several time to text and call Mike for an update, but heard nothing. It was getting late so we ordered pizza so the boys would have something to eat when they arrived. It was right after we ordered the pizza that we heard from a Mike that the U-haul had a dead battery and they were waiting for a jump. What a day!

The boys arrived safely and everyone ate pizza. Boo's mom took all 3 kids back to her house for baths and pjs as soon as they were done eating. I directed furniture into rooms and sometime around 10pm it was done. The Mike's returned the U-haul and then we exchanged Boo's dad for some sleeping kiddos. We got to tuck them into their own beds when they got back.

It was while I was waiting for Mike and the kids to return that I realized it was a school night. I'm a terrible mother. The plan had changed so much over the weekend. I had asked Isaac to bring his backpack, but he hadn't. We had no school clothes or shoes, grr. I would fix it by getting up before 7 and rushing him to the old house before school started. Just when I thought my day was winding down.

I have survived. My good friends who came through repeatedly during my back surgery recovery when I had a baby at home and couldn't move saved the day again. I'm nominating C and Boo's family for sainthood or baking them cookies whichever I can manage when this move is over.

Are We Done Yet?

I keep swinging between elation and an anxiety so severe it renders me dysfunctional. I keep thinking the deus ex machina moment is coming. As of yet, it has not. I have moved some where in the neighborhood of 10 times, but this has been by far the most difficult.

As I mentioned I have been waiting for help to come save the day, (atypical of my personality since birth). Let me explain the factors at play here. First, regardless of my moving experience and above average organizational skills I am limited physically in ways that I've never dealt with before. Second, I am moving a family of four instead of just myself. Third, I have a toddler underfoot or "helping" at every turn. Fourth, Mike.

Mike has limited moving experience, no organizational abilities to speak of and a completely different set of priorities. I feel like I'm swimming against the tide a lot. Thank God he can run cable, anchor shelves and fix things that require the use of a nail gun. I really would be lost without his talents. The trouble is when I tell him the 3 things I need him to do before I can proceed with getting us settled and instead he does something that wasn't even on my radar like mount speakers. I think it's a Mars/Venus thing.

The kids haven't been all obstacle either they've pitched in here and there. Isaac "packed" his bookshelf (which I had to repack while he was school). Overall his attitude has been much better than expected. He was helping untangle the cords on the entertainment center today and he became very concerned. "Are you SURE we're supposed to take this?", he asked me. It turned out Isaac thought that t.v.s come standard in every house. Eight year olds. I straightened him out by pointing out that there was nothing in the new house when he saw it the first time (not even a t.v.) and we would leave nothing in this one. Riley decided to be helpful today too. She told us she was wet and instead of waiting to be changed went to the diaper bag got a new pull up and had it halfway on by herself. I think when they can change their own diaper it's time for the potty.

I've done my best to keep kids on their normal routines, but it's hard. I had all these sunny visions of long afternoons spent letting Riley run through the empty house while I unpacked boxes in peace (while the boys were at work and school). The problem was there was no furniture to unpack things into. So, instead I spent long days in the wreck of the old house packing boxes and waiting. Waiting for help to load the car, waiting for shelves to be disassembled/reassembled, waiting for Mike to get off work, waiting for a time when I'd be free of both kids and so on.

We've done our best to this point largely by ourselves. I feel like I'm drowning. Tomorrow we'll have the U-haul for the big furniture and I don't feel like we're as far along as we should be. I thought we had lots of help and it's turning out that we don't. I tried to line everything up ahead of time, but I never knew how much we'd have done at any point. We're down to the wire now and I'm pleading on facebook and text message for help tomorrow, fingers crossed.

I need a hero, I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of this move. He's gotta be strong. And he's gotta be fast. And he's gotta be fresh from the fight. (I totally hear it sung from the fairy godmother in Shrek 2, but feel free to hear Bonnie Tyler).

Feathering the Nest

We were up and out bright and early eager to get the new house ready. Mike took the day off. It was a beautiful day we both drank an inordinate, probably unhealthy, amount of coffee and picked up a few things. By far my favorite is this kid size recliner I've had my eye on for awhile. Riley's a big fan. I think it's very likely that it is one of the only pieces of furniture we'll buy for the new house.

Riley testing out the new chair in the family room.

Miss Roo sticking Sesame Street stickers to yellow paper ("wella pap!") and watching Follow That Bird while Mommy and Daddy paint.

I'm not an expert painter by any means. It's lack of experience on my part. I put a foam pillow down on the floor to sit on, taped the wall to the best of my ability, opened the paint, set it on the drop cloth and went to work painting the baseboards. It was super important to tape carefully because the walls are a sage green and the tile is white as opposed to the chocolate brown we're painting the trim.

This is what Riley was up to while I painted. My 19mo old assembles furniture, what does yours do?

I'm pretty sure I mentioned my little girl's fondness for tools. She swooped in on Daddy's reassembly product like a pro. She picked up the screwdriver, circled the structure studying it and then put the screwdriver exactly where it belonged. It was really cute. She even tightened some screws with Daddy's help.

While they were being adorable and productive behind me I finished the first section of baseboards I'd taped off. I crawled off the foam pillow and started taping farther down the wall. When I say "crawling" it was more like dragging myself on my belly with my legs straight behind me. When I sat up my legs were bent behind me and I reached behind me to stabilize myself. I put my hand down in paint and thought I was touching the lid of the paint can, but I was very much stuck that way. Since I couldn't jump up I yelled for Mike. It was the loud cussing behind me that was my clue it was worse than I thought. I had kicked the whole can over and not on the drop cloth it was sitting on. I kicked it onto the tile. it was horrific. I felt terrible.

I drenched my cool shoe and there was a massive dark pool congealing on the floor. I murdered my floor and my shoe was in critical condition. I also severely injured my sense of calm. It went from bad to worse as we scrambled to paint as much as possible before the spilled paint dried. My hands were so coated in paint they were sticking to my brush handle. It was a race and I was losing. Eventually, Riley wondered over to hug her frazzled Mommy and shuffled away tracking more paint across the floor.

I didn't understand that this paint wasn't going to wash off my skin the way the paint we used on the walls did. Mike ran out to get paint thinner and I dropped a drowsy Miss Roo at Boo's house to take her nap safe from fumes. I scrambled back and scrubbed the floor and myself until my head ached from the fumes. I decided to make up for it by painting Isaac's room until I couldn't raise my arms anymore. Also, in a pinch you can totally substitue angry paint rolling for angry scrubbing.

It was a long day. The paint came off the floor and my skin, but my shoes has a permanent brown splotch. I'm hoping it looks more artistic than "she stepped in paint." We did get the trim finished in record time which was cool. Mike and Riley got the whole entertainment center together too. The best thing in the end was that the new chair we got for the kids is just my size. I'm not joking. Check this out:

I really like it. It's super cushy on my back and my feet touch the floor. Riley may have to fight me for it in the future.

Blogging in the tiny chair (from now on).

Would You Be Mine? Could You Be Mine? Won't You Be My Neighbor?

The day started (like most have lately) with pain, fatigue and more packing. Enough to empty the entertainment center and a desk. I put up the "bat signal" in morning hoping someone with a vehicle large enough would come to our aid transporting bookshelves, the desk, etc. I was feeling pretty down on myself because I hadn't had multiple offers to help. I going down the "I have to do everything" spiral by the afternoon. So, I decided it was time to get out. After Riley's nap we headed over to Boo's house so we could play, but be near the new house when loads of stuff came. It wasn't until I got there that the clouds parted in my brain and I remembered it was a weekday and everyone was working, duh.

Help arrived around 4pm with a load of stuff from the old house and by 5:30p Mike was ready to start reassembling furniture. Riley and I invited ourselves to diner after Boo clearly articulated "cat-tah cheez" (cottage cheese) and Riley lit up like a light bulb and tried to run up the highchair. It's always hard to separate the girls between how much they love each other and how entertaining they are to their mothers'. I think toddlers should be used in conflict resolution senarios. How can you be mad when a tiny person is popping from around the corner yelling "I see you" and shaking their head while crooning "silly mommy!" I think it's impossible.

We managed to get over to the new house about 7pm. Mike brought in the washer and dryer, yay! Painting the baseboards was almost done and the entertainment center was waiting to be assembled. I think if we didn't have kids we'd be moved by now. Not only transported all our belongings but decorated all the rooms. Sigh.

Isaac took Riley into the backyard to play. Soon there was a shouted exchange over the fence and the neighbor's kids invaded. I love the choas a house full of children brings. It was so nice to put faces and names together. Not to mention make a second impression while conscious. They all played really sweetly and I got to chat with S and his wife. Mike popped some break and bake cookies in our new digital oven and the bonding was complete. It was heartbreaking when it all had to come to an end, but it was a school night.

There are moments of clarity in life when you just know without a shadow of a doubt what the next step is (I wish there were more). Forward motion is very necessary and very scary. The universe always pats you on the back when you've done the right thing if you make yourself open to it, at least in my experience. Thank God, for this house, this new start, and these wonderful neighbors.

Riley vs the Potty

When we ran out of diapers last night we decided we should get some pull-ups next. We read the "potty training readiness check list" and answered, "yes" to all but one. My favorite one was "shows interest in putting things where they belong". I can safely say that is Riley at 19mo, but I'm still waiting on her brother at almost 9yrs old. Training pants have come a long way since I was a kid. These look like real underwear. They have Dora on them and have butterflies that disappear when they're wet.

This evening when we changed her we let her go diaperless. We sat her on her little frog potty in front of Toy Story 3, but there was no action. She ran around awhile more sans diaper and then she said "GO!" and pointed between her legs. I informed Mike that she needed more potty time and this time he gave her a cold drink. A few seconds later Mike was shouting "she did it!"

I was stunned. I came to see the evidence for myself and sure enough, she peed in the potty. Mike and I jumped around cheering and hugging her. She got in on it clapping for herself too. We sang "you-went-on-the-pot-ty!" It was very exciting.

When Mike took her frog potty to the big potty to dump her pee, Riley wasn't pleased. He offered to let her help and she said "No! No!". He poured it in and said "Ok, Riley you flush." She again replied, "No! No!". We tried to explain that it's ok to flush the pee, but she was not having it. So, finally Mike flushed it and told her to say bye, bye to her pee pee. She cheerfully waved goodbye and then clapped. She even stood at the potty recounting the tail. She'd make peeing sounds, say "potty", point to herself and then wave bye bye at the big potty.

Amen, the end of diapers is in sight! What a girl, I'm so lucky.

So Inviting

I didn't do birth announcements when Riley was born and I was sad about the missed opportunity. We planned a big baptism when she was 8mo so I made the invites myself in paint shop pro with lots of pictures to make up for not having birth announcements.

I was really proud of those even if the event got bumped by back surgery. Next up was Riley's first birthday. I envisioned a bright, happy hedgehog. Mike added the pop-up element and we worked together on the poem.

The poem says: "Come have a roly-poly day with me. We'll tumble and laugh and play with glee. I'll have some cake to share and wear. So don't get prickly, don't despair. With the 52 weeks of life I've had, I'm pretty sure I'm as old as dad! Don't curl up and hide in three quarter's crescent. Come to the park on the fifth and bring me a present." We handmade the first one. When we were happy with it we took it apart and took digital pictures (we didn't have a scanner yet) of the pieces. After we uploaded them to the computer we printed them on cardstock. After that it was a lot of cutting, gluing and folding.

Now that we have our new big backyard we're hosting an Easter event the first weekend in the new house. I made this in paint shop pro.

I stole the cheese ball rhyme from the internet, but cut me some slack I'm trying to move a family of four I don't have a ton of time to be witty. I really like how this one came out. For the baptism invites I uploaded them to a drug store website and printed them as 4x6 photos, but for the Easter one I just emailed the jpg as an attachment. Save a tree and all that, but really it was the time crunch.

Next on my list are change of address cards to offically announce the move, save the dates for the wedding, and I've already statred working on Riley's 2nd birthday invites. I don't think it ever would have occured to me pre-digital photogrphy, photo editing software, etc to do my own invitations. Then again I love this kind of thing so much I probably would have handmade less attractive versions if the technology wasn't available.

I've become a stay at home mom whose creative outlet is designing kids birthday invitions...not sure I should be proud of that.

Dun Dada Super Mom...

I've been feeling really down about how little I've accomplished as far as the move. Mondays are my days sans kids (until 4p). Mondays are also the day the cleaning lady comes. Today I asked my mom to come over too. I was bound and determined to live up to my standards of productivity.

Mike got the kids their breakfast and I stayed in bed an extra ten minutes. It was really thrilling. After the boys went out the door I took the opportunity to blog while Riley finished eating. Once breakfast ended I hit the ground running.

I let the cleaning lady in and packed Riley's whole book shelf and the rest of her closet. I had her load the boxes into my car. I told her my mom would be over to start laundry for me in about 20min and took Riley to day care. I dropped off Riley with all her best friends. She's such a big girl she walks from the car by herself now. (And she's not the only one her friends sleeping in beds now too).

I left her in more than capable hands and made off with a bunch of empty diaper boxes. After I left I raced off to the new house to drop the boxes off that I packed earlier. I checked in that everything was ok at home on the way. Obviously, I can't lift a box of books so I used my wheelchair like a luggage cart. I wheeled it up to the door and slid the box on and then pushed it into the house. Once I got them inside I unloaded them rather then try to get them off of the chair.

When I got home I sat down for a minute answering questions about laundry, etc from the couch. I was building a to-do list in my head when Mike messaged me to please call about transferring utilities and turning on internet. I made those calls and got everything squared away and then packed some more boxes of the kids' stuff. After that I took some baby stuff to consignment and donated some things. I also (with help from mom) returned our cable boxes and set up our disconnection at the old house. After that I swung by the hardware store for a copy of the house key and more rollers.

I was pretty pleased with myself when we got home. I folded laundry for awhile and then I started dinner while mom ran to get Isaac from his after school science program. By the time he got home dinner was ready and waiting. Bless his heart, he had standardized testing all day today. He had to sit still and be quiet from 8:30a until 2:50p which is not his strong suit. He still came in and got through homework, dinner and changing clothes with time to spare before TaeKwonDo.

We dropped off Isaac and went to meet Mike at the new house with his new key. He wasn't there when we got there so we decided to get Riley first. She was having so much fun she didn't want to leave. It was sweet. Normally, when she doesn't want to leave somewhere I say, "Hey, Riley do you want to go see Dada?" and she heads for the door as quick as her tiny feet can go. This time she said "no." Grandma had to carry her out the door.

We went back to the new house to let Mike in and unloaded the boxes we brought over. Riley's whole closet from the old house plus her book shelf fits in her new closet with room to spare. After a brief meeting about base board color in the family room I was off to get Isaac.

Somehow we managed to get everyone home and bathed and in bed on time. Before my mom left she informed me that we are a half load away from having finishing all the laundry in the house. Amazing.

Hurray, productive day! I felt like myself again, probably for the first time since I got pregnant. It was amazing. Maybe things will be better all around from now on or maybe I won't be able to move tomorrow...It was worth it either way.

After demanding my partner validate my accomplishments today. I have completed my post for tonight despite my computer freezing, restarting and turning itself off repeatedly and have began my mental list for tomorrow: change address with NetFlix, return library books, clean out Isaac's room, pack more boxes....etc.

I asked Mike when the day was when I got to take a nap while someone else packed/painted and watched the kids and he said, "I think you're thinking of May."

Oh These Are The People in Your Neighborhood

We spent the whole weekend at the new house painting and bringing loads back and forth. It was more than I could handle. I didn't do any heavy lifting, obviously. I mostly kept the kids out out the way and unpacked the boxes destined for our new closets. I also spent a lot of time sitting on the floor painting or playing with Riley. I feel about 80yrs old every time I try to get up from the floor, Oy! My back is furious with me.

We got 99% of the family room painted and a decent start on Isaac's room. We're only painting the 3 bedrooms and the family room. So, 2 out of 4 are underway. I got our living room bookcase packed and over to the house (thanks D!). I also got quite a few of the kids toys over. Honestly, it doesn't feel like I've made a dent yet. Mike also got his beloved shed disassembled, transported and reassembled.

When we toured the house we were told our neighbor "P" was amazing. "Just wait till you meet P, etc". On our other side was a house with a pretty sweet playground set up in the backyard. I've always waited the kids to have neighbor friends. The first day we met a family from down the block their kids were 9, 4, and 2. Kids both our kids ages! Yay!

It wasn't until this weekend that we met P's kids. A boy and a girl 10 and 8. They said their younger sister is named Riley too! They started talking to Isaac through the fence in the back yard and then came over to show us their puppies. Their mom waved them back, but P didn't seem to be around.

Well, today I spent 3 hours painting and entertaining Riley while the boys took apart Mike's shed foundation at the old house. By the time the boys returned with food I was beat. After lunch the plan was for the kids to play in the yard while Mike put up his shed. When I admitted to Mike earlier in the week that I had "tried" to lay on the tile floor with a blanket he put the air mattress in the car, just in case. Today was that day so he blew it up and I was asleep before the back door closed.

Apparently, while I was sleeping face down, sprawled in all directions and honest to goodness, drooling into the indentation in the mattress the neighbor on the other side came by. In walked S and his 4yr old daughter I can't imagine what they must have thought of me. When I was told they had been there my first question was "Did you tell them I don't have a substance abuse problem?" That would have been my first thought seeing some lady passed out in the middle of the day on the floor. Mike seemed confused by my question and said, "I told him..that you had mobility issues. I said moving has been hard on you."

Good work Honey, not that I had worked my ass off and been alone with the baby all morning. Sheesh. So, S was very nice and he also has 3 kids. A 9yr boy, 4yr girl and a 2yr old. The 4yr old played nicely with Isaac and Riley while the men chatted. Mike didn't ask the name or gender of the 2yr old, men! Either way, Hurray! Kids the same age on either side. It's like we won the neighborhood lotto. S also raved about P on the other side of us. I'm beginning to worry he won't live up to the hype. S even extended an open invitation to come play on his awesome playground equipment. It should go without saying Mike didn't find out S's wife name or if she stays at home with the little ones or not. He did find out that S is a "project guy" too. I was bummed that I slept through Mike and Isaac making friends.

I guess I have time to get all that information and make up for my less-than-stellar first impression, here's hoping. When I asked Isaac if he liked his new neighborhood he said, "Yes! There's better kids and they have pets."

Michigan J. Frog

Riley's brain grew overnight. She came to show me a pencil, unsharpened, her brother gave her for Valentine's. It's got owls and hearts all over it. Well, she marched right over to mommy, held it up and said "Owl. Pen-sol" and then "Whoo!" before she ran away. I was stunned. I didn't know she knew what the word "pencil" meant.

A few minutes later I looked over to see Riley writing on a piece of paper. Not making random scribbly motions with her whole arm, but considerately making a line in a spot and picking up her pencil and doing it again, making a little zigzag at the end. I asked Mike if he was seeing what I was seeing. He confirmed it, she was attempting to write. Inspection of her coloring book revealed she'd been "writing" all morning, using different colors for different "words". I thought that attempts at writing were at least a year away, who knew?

Riley's been answering "no" to things a lot. She has a "No-No" that means you're not supposed to be doing that (usually accompanied by finger wagging) and a "Nooo. No." which means I don't want to. She's been a lot more verbally responsive lately in general. If you ask her a question she answers you. She also has a gleeful "Yes!" and a causal "yup." It's amazing how much she understands about spoken language.

She shocked us again at dinner time. Mike was getting something out of the fridge and as is mandatory for all toddlers she was running under his arm and grabbing condiment bottles. She brought me salad dressing, and Mike and I gave her the obligatory sing-song, "Oh, what do YOU have? Saaalad dressing! Verrry nice!", and then I sent her back to put it away, which she proudly did, trading it for the barbecue sauce on the sly. Mike asked again, "What do you have?" This time she said clear as a bell, "barbecue!". We both started laughing histerically, and she repeated it again, "barbecue," pointing at it like, "I'm not kidding guys! That's what this is."

Easter Parade

Spring break was super early this year so my plans to get the kids' picture with the Easter Bunny while Isaac was was on break were thwarted. In all my frantic Googling I discovered a kids Easter event to welcome the bunny to the mall. I took the opportunity while Isaac was at his TaeKwonDo class to make this just for the girls.

I didn't know until yesterday that they were asking parents to decorate wagons and strollers for a parade. I was really excited. Boo's mom and I love this kind of thing. We settled on a spring garden theme based on what we already had. In addition to the things we already had, we got some flower petal headbands from the dollar bin at Target. Riley had a beautiful Tinkerbell dress with a tulle skirt from her grandma to wear and she lent Boo her purple and green tutu.

Step one decorating the wagon

Boo's mom adds flowers which were a huge hit with the girls. Also from the dollar bins at Target.

That is a flower growth chart wrapped all the way up to the wagon handle.

We cut some green felt scraps with pinking sears to make grass. Then we wraped the grass around the wagon closing it in the little door. We secured it with little bits of fabric glue and bright green duct tape. Boo's mom had already attached velcro to a bunch of spring critters for her felt board so we just stuck them to the felt. We reasoned that by doing it that way if the girls pulled them off we could put them back on easily. Whatever didn't have velco we tapped with the bright green duct tape, like the bunnies. It came out great!

We had lots of help!

Hmm..Where should this birdy go?

After many wrestling matches to get diapers changed and a few wardrobe changes our little flowers were ready. They looked so cute I wanted to parade them to the parade.

At the actual event I was disappointed. Our wagon seemed a little over dressed, but I was really proud of it. The "craft table" was a stack of coloring pages and a cup of crayons. The "free goodies" to the first 100 people were only free if you bought a $5 membership. They had the Chick-fil-a cow walking around with bunny ears on which the girls liked from afar, but not so much when he came to see them. If you wanted to see the bunny you had to wait in a very slow moving line. The girls did their best, but they'd been stuck in the wagon so long it just wasn't happening.

After we skipped out on the line to see the bunny we begrudgingly liberated them from the wagon (and tutu, in Boo's case)in the play area. We were worried about the germs and all the big kids running around. The mall play area is much more fun and less crowded during the week. The girls were super excited about the ladybug. Boo took 20 trips down the slide most of them backwards. Miss Roo took one trip down the slide and when she came back to try again a big girl was running full speed up the slide and she never went back. I really hate that. Why don't parents explain slide etiquette to their kids? It's not that complicated. Climb up, slide down and always one at a time. You NEVER go up the slide it's always rude and sometimes dangerous. Roo much perferred to hang out in the rocket safe from the hoards making flying noises.

Boo went backwards down the slide.

Riley LOVES the rocket.

Hanging out with Boo and Roo is always fun. We're so blessed.

Parenting in Tomorrowland

Things were very different when I was a kid. I don't want this to turn into a "when I was your age...uphill in the snow" kind of rant, but I did promise to share my thoughts. It's occurred to me off and on in adulthood that I have become so dependent on current technology I simply can't remember what I did before it existed.

Booking a flight is a good example of this. What did we do before the internet? A more day-to-day example is online banking. Did we go in to the bank and wait in line for everything? Maybe technological advance begets dependence on further technological advances. Debit cards plus internet equal dependence on online banking. Is it a bad thing? No, online bill pay saves trees. I'm getting off topic already. Technology has damaged my attention span, I'm talking to you DVR and Facebook.

Let's start there with instant gratification. Thank God for entertainment at the push of a button. The teething, cranky baby wants Dora? You got it. Mommy hasn't taken a night off for two weeks? Her Grey's Anatomy are cued up and waiting. It's not just TV either. I routinely select a bunch of books from the library from my couch. When the library emails me that they're in I walk in to the desk switch what I have for the new ones. It takes less than 2mins on a normal day. I also upload my pictures from the couch and pick them up when they're ready.

Pre-digital photography I would have had to develop the roll of film (or worse scan through boxes of negatives), wait the hour minimum or 3 days if necessary, buy a frame, cut them to the right sizes/shapes and put them in. All of that would have been mission impossible with a little one in tow. Technology saved me from having to go in at all until my collages were printed in recent years. It also saved all the people quietly reading in the library from my toddler. It's not just library books and pictures. What did people do before microwaves and convenience food? I'm quite sure I would have starved to death when Riley was an infant had it not been for Hotpockets. I used to put one in the microwave while she was napping, push the button when I heard her stirring and by the time I changed her diaper my lunch was ready. I’d nurse the baby and eat one handed on the couch most days. A little later baby food pouches saved Riley from a complete low blood sugar inspired meltdown more than a few times. The major pitfall being we've all lost any semblance of patience.

Now that I've addressed the instant gratification (or DVR effect) let's talk over stimulation. Everything does something now. Riley's toys all require batteries, light bulbs, protective headgear and engineering degrees. When did playing pretend go so completely out of style? Sometimes when the batteries die on a toy I am enraged to discover that without all the theatrics it's just an overpriced box, ball or stuffed animal. The commercials are more overwhelming than they used to be too. I always feel like my senses have been brutally assaulted after a round of commercials aimed at kids. Which why we ditched cable in favor of streaming video.

All of these things have their ups and downs …It’s a nice day out. Aside from most definitely destroying my attention span Facebook has it’s good points. It allows family and friends who are far away to watch my kids grow up. I don't think I could have survived bed rest or recovery from back surgery without the social outlet networking sites and message boards provided. Women on my pregnancy board became my other family. They understood and still do exactly where I am in my live. I have been very lucky. I hope my blog's audience grows and many mother's find comfort, entertainment and above all the information I felt lacking three years ago. It makes the world feel a little smaller. On the other hand a smaller world isn't always a good thing. I worry about my kids going up with all the information out there, all the anonymity and deception. I read an article recently about the "Facebook Blues" that said many people look at networking sites and find their own lives lacking. Of course people only represent the best of themselves online. The grass does usually seem greener and when you can passively compare your live to almost everyone you've ever met it's hard not to be overwhelmed.

There is a lot of information and a lot more lines of communication now then there ever were before. For example we are able to email Isaac's teacher and get a response same day. No more note passing, message leaving, or wondering. We can stay on top of things at school and school can stay on top of things at home.

When I was a kid I had a beautiful set of World Book Encyclopedias. I was often told when my parents didn't know something (like most kids in my generation) to look it up. I was an intelligent, resourceful kid and often found disappoint the reward for my efforts. There would often be a short paragraph giving generalize information where I had hoped for real answers. Now, if the kids are interested in something we as parents don't know a lot about we Google it together. We read wikipedia (using that also as a lesson in "don't believe everything you read"/"check your sources"). We watch youtube videos together. It's all easily accessible there's not one source there are millions upon millions.

Information is the key to functioning as effective parental unit. Wow, that sounded like a self help book. When I was a kid there was no way to tell someone to get milk on their way home if they left their office before you thought of it. Now texting has become essential. Being able to tell your spouse what to pick up on the way home any time of day you think of it without disturbing their work day. Shooting your friend a message without worrying that you’re waking up her toddler is always such a relief. Beyond texting what did we do when our cars broke down before cell phones? Did people haul themselves and screaming kids down the side of the road to a pay phone or just camp out and hope help would find them? Scary. Again, I've watched way to much Investigation Discovery to accept help from strangers.

We are dependent, cranky, unfocused and demanding thanks to technology. We are also more available, connected and informed than ever before.

Communication Stinks

I think every parent has been in the middle of three things and absentmindedly said yes to something that they shouldn't or wouldn't have, "zombie answer". It happens to the best of us. The consequences usually involve a flooded bath room, food explosion in the microwave, missing keys (wallet, cell phone, etc). There's also the case of "the over-ask". When you've been asked 27 times for anything it has the exact opposite affect then was intended.

Yesterday, Isaac asked me every 30 seconds from the time he got home until bedtime for $2. I was already planning to give it to him before he asked, but after the 5th time I said snapped and told him if asked again there wouldn't be a field trip. As a result I was so sick of hearing and thinking about it that the money didn't get paperclipped to the permission slip before he left for school. I have to admit I'm glad he had to sweat it out a bit before the money was dropped off in the office for him. "The over-ask" is one of the worst.

On the other hand there's the "didn't I tell you.." Mike is a big perpetrator of that. I discuss my plan for months and he nods along until the day of when there's suddenly a huge problem. He usually thinks he told me about it, but sometimes he admits he's been thinking about it all week and not mentioned it. Typically, I'll ask him to do me a favor and typically it's something I usually do that if he took over would allow me a break. He agrees enthusiastically in the moment "because I should rest". I remind him of my approaching break and he absentmindedly nods or grunts from behind his laptop with best of intentions. When the day arrives though, the reality of everything he's agreed to is too much. He's overwhelmed and (perhaps because he feels guilty) he doesn't let me in on this until the last minute. At this point we're both overwhelmed and irritated. Badly timed information makes for a bad day.

The other time this happens a lot is invitations. It always goes like this. Me: Hey do you want to go to (family gathering, wedding, birthday party, etc)? We have (other events/nothing) that weekend. What do you think? Mike: Ok. That's fine. A few days later Me: Don't forget we're going to _______ this weekend. Mike: Oh, yeah. Ok. The day before Me: We have that thing tomorrow. Mike: Oh ok..do we have (the gift, directions, etc) Me: Yes, we're all set The day of Mike: Why are we going to this? (As he searches for his other shoe, keys, wallet, etc) Me: You said you wanted to go. We already told them and our kids we were going. Mike: (continues to complain as he grumpily heads out the door) In the car Mike: What we should have done was...(better plan for the weekend, getting there, the gift I picked, etc that he has not previously shared until this moment)

The mother of them all is the lie of omission. Not an absent minded forgetful thing (often revealing itself with the worst of possible timing), but a malicious omission. Like when you ask "where ya going?"/"whatcha doing?" and get "no where/nothing" as an answer. No good ever comes after someone answers "no where or nothing" to a direct question. When it's a child it results in similar or more devastating destruction than the "zombie answer." With your spouse it's way worse. It is never a romantic surprise like us girls always hope for. It's a 3am trip to Taco Bell, an entire weekend working on the car while you watch the kids by yourself, the demolition of your kitchen for the sake of a project or the bank account suddenly being in overdraft. Beyond that it makes me feel like a monster or at least not an equal partner.

I'm human too. I would understand your desperate need for a taco just tell me before I wake up find you gone and have an anxiety attack. I watch way too much TV to assume everything's fine when you're not in bed in the middle of the night. I certainly understand needing to disappear for a while, but it works much better if we're both in on it. I even understand that there are occasionally things worth draining the bank account for, but if you don't give me a chance to agree or come up with a plan B than I feel irrelevant. I don't want to be the Nanny who enforces the rules and keeps everyone in line while you get to be the fun impulsive one. We're supposed to be in it together.

Communication is a lot like a traffic light that's out at a major intersection. Either everyone does what they are supposed to do and executes a beautiful four way stop or it's chaos. I've seen it done many times. When I lived in California people understood the procedure and followed it amazingly well, most of the time. I was always filled with anxiety coming up to a light that was out and then I'd see everyone waiting their turn and my faith in humanity would replenish itself. On the other hand some people plow through obviously causing accidents, nearly missing police officers directing traffic and making everyone else really nervous. The goal is to do more of the former and than everyone gets what they need. Here's hoping.

Damn the Man!

We disconnected the cable this month. I know, I'm such a rebel. Sticking to the man is so satisfying. Although I guess it all comes out in the wash because now Netflix is the man instead of Verizon, but oh, well, I like them better.

Economically the cable plus equipment was running us $60 without a contact and Netflix is $10 a month and works on the equipment we already own. Plus we were renting the occasional movie for $4 each on demand. We are not a video game house. I have an awesome blu-ray player that streams Netflix, Hulu and YouTube. After our 30day free trial (unlimited streaming and one DVD at a time) we were sold. It's all “on demand” now.

Besides the savings, the thing I love most about Netflix is no commercials! I never had issues with the kids watching PBS or NickJr because they weren't any commercials, but the Nicklodeon and Cartoon Networks commercials were horrible. Just an onslaught of loud, obnoxious, junk pedaling. Which is almost as bad as the cursed video on demand channel's 24hr adds for itself. I'm pretty sure you have to listen to that garbage for eternity in one of the circles of hell.

Another big thing for me as a mom is the instant gratification. Anyone who has ever fast forward through 20min of previews before a Disney movie while a toddler cries for Nemo knows what I'm talking about. Beyond all that, getting your entertainment this way gives you a lot more control of what your kids are watching. With cable boxes we could set it to block ratings, have the guide display only the channels we favorited, and not allow video on demand. That still meant whatever was on at even given time with the appropriate rating or no rating was fair game. Who knows what Isaac's brain was soaking up some weekends.

Beyond inappropriate (or non-preferable) material and all the commercials we were slave to the cable companies scheduling and programing choices. Isaac and I bonded many an afternoon watching Time Warp Trio on the Discovery Kids Channel and then they dropped it in favor of a channel that sprinkles re-makes of 80's cartoons in with their commercials now and then. It was a devastating blow. Now mom and dad make the line-up with educational shows, family friendly movies and the original 80's versions of the cartoons. Riley loves She-ra, my little Princess of Power.

The empty spaces where the cable boxes used to be makes me smile. The increased selection and cash flow thrill me. I just feel liberated. It was the right thing for us all the way.

Shell-less Turtle

I've moved somewhere in the neighborhood of 10 times in my adult life. Usually state to state. However, I haven't moved since having a baby and my body breaking down like a cheap used car. I started out all gung-ho this morning. I had my cleaning lady focus on the kitchen and bathroom and we cleaned out most of my drawers and cabinets. My hope for today was: 1)clean out kitchen cabinets, 2)clean out bathroom shelves, 3)drop baby stuff at consignment, 4)start cleaning out my closet. That would have been something I could have done before. I would have pushed through and paid for it, but it would have been done. Not anymore. I didn't realize I'd lost my super powers. I have no more armor. Between making me face the reality of my physical limitations (hate that!) and all the letting go moving is really making me feel vulnerable.

So, with the best of intentions and help I cleaned out 6 cabinets, 2 drawers and the top of the fridge. Thank goodness for trash day. After which I was non-functional. I had Mike wash the cover of the stroller and infant car seat over the weekend. Let me say they don't build strollers to be washed. It involved screwdrivers and digital photos so it could go back on correctly. I did online research and I got all excited because apparently complete travel systems go for $80+ online. Unfortunately I live with Mike who once gave the baby an entire container of yogurt in her car seat and left my beautiful stroller outside in the rain more than once. Our stuff wasn't in perfect condition, but it was close. The consignment lady didn't want the infant seat at all, but gave me $20 for my almost perfect stroller and and Elmo toy. Sigh.

It's funny how emotional getting rid of baby stuff is. I loved that stroller. I used it all the time and now it's going to a new home. I'm so glad someone who wouldn't have been able to afford such a nice stroller will have it. As for the infant seat I plan to detach and wash the straps and sent it and the base to a friend's garage sale this weekend.

Riley's so big now. I was watching a video of the first time she belly laughed when she was only a few months old today. Now she'll be 19mo this week. She walks, talks and laughs all the time. Yesterday I said "Hello, Riley" and instead of repeating what I had just said or ignoring me Riley said "Ello Mama!". Babyhood is so over.

Vip Tour of the New Crib

It was really important to me to take the kids to the new house right away, get them all excited and show them around before the world turns upside down for a few weeks. I imagine alot of time with me unpacking and organizing at the new house while Mike cleans and paints the old one. It's going to get bumpy for everyone especially the kids. So, today we all went over to see the house.

Riley stands on the welcome mat, none to sure what's happening here. (That lasted approximately 45 seconds before running and squealing with glee ensued.)

Isaac describes exactly how we should decorate his new room. So far he's pushing for "Lego Atlantis" as a theme.

Ta-da! Isaac's Room. He went from no closet to two! And this room isn't a walk through to anyhing else. He currently sleeps laundry room and side door adjacent.

This is what excited looks likes. A real yard. Isaac and Riley ran around for a minute and then Riley stopped, turned around and hugged me around the legs. "You're welcome, kids. My pleasure."

Exploring...

Is it a shower? Or a space ship? Riley, space explorer. She left no stone unturned. She opened and shut both toilet seats a few times and climbed into the empty fridge.

I found you!

Wow.

"Hey guys! That pretty girl in the mirror lives here too!"

Looking out the living room window.

We hung a collage frame full of family pictures before we left. I wanted to plant a flag on the moon, claim our new home. We also met a neighbor out taking her kids and dog for a walk. It was a good trip. There's so much potential. I think the kids are really excited now. I know Mike and I are. Hurray, for forward motion. No more waiting, looking, hoping now we move on to a brighter chapter in our family history.

Home Is Where Your Heart Is

I have made no secret of the fact that I don't like "Mike's house". When I moved here it was supposed to be for six months, all those years ago. It was more than Mike's original family of three needed eight years ago. It was plenty big enough for a single dad and baby/toddler. It was a fine house for Mike, Isaac and I after I moved in. For the last two years, since Riley, it's been too small.

It barely contains almost five years of bachelor pad crap, two kids, and two adults even with most of my belongings in storage. On top of the space crunch there's all that history. I hate that Mike was with other girls in the bedroom we share. I hate that this is the house Isaac's mother abandoned him in. I hate that we didn't move in here together. I invaded his man cave and have been slowly transforming it, too slowly.

The new house has three proper bedrooms as opposed to two bedrooms and a converted garage. It has two bathrooms instead of one. Everyone will have a real closet instead of just the master bedroom. There are even extra closets for linens. Best of all it has a huge fenced in back yard. Currently, we have a close-up view of the highway instead of a back yard. The front yard at Mike's house is a reasonable size, but it's not fenced. We currently have no storage space indoors or out. The new house has both.

Currently the kids have no friends in our neighborhood because all the kids around here are horrible noisy teenagers, but there are children Isaac's age on either side of our new house. Also, Riley's best friend, daycare provider and pediatrician are 5min away (or less). There is a bike trail near by and an elementary school in walking distance. It's better in so many ways. I could imagine birthday parties in that yard in vivid detail.

I waited so long to have some space to call my own. I waited so long for a little patch of sunshine the kids could call their own. I waited so long for a fresh start. A place that could be ours instead of his (no matter how hard I tried). I have waited my entire adult life to be able to decorate a house. Mike was trying to talk me into painting the bed room to cheer me up and make it "more me" and now I get to paint three bedrooms (and anything else I want).

Now we can settle in all together, with our own space and put down real roots.

Huge News

I'm sorry for not calling everyone indivually, but I have an overwhelming to do list right now. It was a possibility for a while and I insisted we not tell anyone until we were sure, so blame me. Mike would have told you all ages ago. I guess I have that "don't jinx it" impulse left over from auditions.

Ok, here goes. Mike was offered an amazing opportunity and in light of how I've been feeling I was all for a change of scenery. We're really doing this! We are "relocating" our family to Canada at the end of the month.

So, exciting. So much to do. I'll get in touch with everyone soon.

Now that the day is ending (approaching bedtime) for you non-comment readers: It's an April Fool's Post. Back to business as usual tomorrow.