Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Letting Go

When you have a really important test/interview etc how long do you agonize and obsess over how you did? When I asked Mike he said "until I get the grade." I did too up until high school. When I got to college I realized I was literally making myself sick with worry. I knew I couldn't stop worrying altogether, but there had to be limits. I have never worried that the plane I was on would crash because it's not up to me. I mean once you're on the plane you're on it.

The trick was extending that attitude to the rest of my life. I remember an acting teacher sharing a Buddhist saying "If a problem has a solution it is not worth worrying about. If a problem doesn't have a solution it is not worth worrying about." Think about it. There's also my favorite line from Van Wilder "Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere."

I learned very early in my audition filled acting career that no matter how talented I am there are a hundred factors I can not control. Being too short or having the wrong color hair can mean the best man for the job doesn't get the job. I saw it first hand when I was working in the casting office. There are so many unpredictable factors at play and just like any test or interview what's done is done.

Today I packed up my audition. Time to let go I told myself as I handed the envelope over the counter. Out into the world. I learned I still have a chance at my dreams and now one more casting director has seen my face. Fingers crossed and now back to Mommy stuff.

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