I made it. I pumped every 2hrs for 3days, ugh. I survived the physical and emotional awfulnessof not being able to feed the baby. Riley took full formula bottles by the end and nobody died. I got a taste of what weaning will be like for better or worse. Mike got a small taste of what my life as milk machine is like. I learned how to make and warm a formula bottle. I learned that through all kinds of stress and pain I can take care of my baby.
I feel like I've been holding my breath for three days. It was so satisfing to finally try on the nursing tops I ordered online that had the bad sense to arrive the day of I had to stop nursing. After tearfully setting them aside 3 days ago I joyfully discovered one of them fit perfectly. Hurray for not looking like a little girl in my mom's clothes! Why has no one considered nursing after most of the baby weight is gone? Even XS are tents. Maybe I should just cut holes and sew flaps in some regular shirts.
I digress, I fed Riley at 11:30 this afternoon. She was so happy. She kept making really surprised faces while she was eating it was so freaking cute. It's so much more peaceful around here now. Hurray, magic boobs.